The first time I accessed this webpage, I was but a fair child of 19.
Back in those days I was writing a blog with an anime-based background, creating fanart and fantasizing over Rock Lee.
Alas, how far away those days are - in space, time, memory. How far away from me.
Here I find myself in the land of Japan, a place I only dream of being those days long ago. That was my future, my ideal. And here I find myself living more idealistically beautifully happily than I thought I would be. Yet, I must admit... there was something tugging at me today.
I wouldn't call it dissatisfaction, nor disappointment... or maybe something. I would call it... fear. Perhaps. Of what I am who I am and who I am with.
And right now I long to sleep. And I wish my partners could read my mind I wish my partner right now could read my mind. Because I am easy to be disappointed, and I get disappointed easily.